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Through long and bitter (well, not that bitter) experience, I had learned to do the smell check as the very last step for bedtime. You know, you grab them underneath the armpits, lift them up and put their nether regions in front of your nose ... and smell. Don't forget that last step. So I did the smell test and ... oh crap!Well, you know, accidents do happen. Like I say, I've done this before so first I got out everything I needed and then I started changing her diaper. Only one problem, when I pulled out three of the baby wipes from the carton I noticed there weren't anymore. Now Marla and any woman I ever saw could make do with no more than three baby wipes. It usually took me about six. From the smell this looked close to my personal record of nine baby wipes.Now here we have to get into the difference between men and women. I know, everything is equal now and women reporters can go into men's locker rooms, but woe unto the male reporter that tries to do the reverse. I maintain,. “Do you shave yet?” he once asked me.“Not really.” I’d shaved a handful of times when I got mangy but my facial hair was only starting to become thicker.“You should start doing it every other day or so,” he said. “Otherwise, at your age, it will come in splotchy. Besides...” he said, running his fingers across his own hairless chin, “ ... the ladies love a smooth face.” Nothing was more important to me at that point than finding myself a lady and since he was older, cooler, and better-looking than me, I took the advice. A guy like Derek had to be practically buried in pussy.“You should also shave your stomach,” he said the next day. “That little bit between your pecs too. Chest hair can be attractive for older guys, but you have a good body. A smooth chest and stomach will make your muscles pop. Bring out that six-pack.” I blushed because what I had could barely be considered a six-pack. I wanted one and worked abs three times a week but I couldn’t eat enough protein to match my.
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